


His Last Words

by Kaylortigger



Series: Tears in Heaven [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depression, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Karl Jacobs-centric, M/M, Mentioned Alexis | Quackity, Suicide, Suicide Notes, not by name tho, not fun, seriously, their names only appear at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28976493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaylortigger/pseuds/Kaylortigger
Summary: His cologne and his conditioner and his natural scent, all clouding his senses and for a minute he felt as though his boyfriend was here, right in front of him, hugging him, telling him it was all a bad dream. That he wasn’t gone.....its the song "Her Last Words" by Courtney Parker but gender switch for the first half of this fic then it goes to a sad as fuck story line...well sad to mei made me cry while i was writing thisi hate myself for it but herealso BIG TW FOR SUICIDE/HANGING AND DEATH SO AAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Relationships: Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Series: Tears in Heaven [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2125416
Kudos: 37





	His Last Words

**Author's Note:**

> I was crying while I wrote this which was funny considering I was also listening to FNaF songs while writing this sooooo.... listening to fnaf music while making myself cry while writing suicide is a mood only i can achieve

Just an average boy. He always wore a smile. He was cheerful and happy for a short while. Now he's older. Things are getting colder. Life's not what he thought. He wished someone had told him. He told you he was down, you let it slip by. So from then on, he kept it on the inside. He told himself he was alright. But he was telling white lies.   
Can't you tell? Look at his dull eyes.   
Tried to stop himself from crying almost every night. But he knew there was no chance of feeling alright. Summer came by, all he wore was long sleeves. 'Cause those cuts on his wrists were bleeding through, you see?   
He knew he was depressed, didn't want to admit it. Didn't think he fit it, everyone seemed to miss it. He carried on like a soldier with a battle wound. Bleeding out from every cut his body consumed. He had no friends at school, all alone he sat.   
And if someone were to notice he would blame the cat.   
But those cuts on his wrist, they were no mistake. But no one cared enough to save him from this self-hate. Things were going down, never really up.   
And here he is now stuck in this stupid rut. He knew exactly what he had to do next. Just stand on that chair and tie the rope around his neck. He wrote a letter with his hands shaking wild.   
"Look at me now! Are you proud of your precious child?"  
But he knew that his parents weren't the ones to blame. It was the world that should bow down its head in shame. He stood up on the chair and looked out at the moon.   
Just don't think, it'll all be over soon.   
The chair fell down as he took his final breath. It's all over, all gone, now he's greeting death.   
His boyfriend walks in, he falls down to the floor. And now nothing can take back what he just saw. The boy that he loved is just hanging there. His body's pale and his face is violently bare. He sees the note and unfolds it with care. All he does is stare.   
“How can this be fair?” He starts reading as the tears roll down his face.

_I'm sorry babe but this world is just not my place. I've tried for so long to fix this and fit in. I've come to realize this world's full of sin. There's nothing for me here, I'm just a waste of space. I've got no reason to stay here with this awful race. It's a disgrace, I was misplaced._  
_Born in the wrong time and in the wrong place._  
_It's okay though, 'cause you'll see me soon. You'll know when your time has come. Just look at the moon. As it shines bright throughout the night. And remember everyone's facing their own fight. But I can't deal with the pain, I'm not a fighter.You'll make it through the night._  
_Just hug your pillow tighter._  
_So let the world know that I died in vain. 'Cause the world around me is the one to blame. And I know in a year, you'll forget I'm gone. 'Cause I'm not really something to be dwelled on. That's what they used to tell me, all those kids at school. So I'm going by the law, "majority rules."_  
_My presence on this earth is not needed any longer. And if anything, I hope this makes you stronger. You're the best friend that I ever had. It's such a shame I had to make you so very sad. But just remember that you meant everything to me. And to my heart, you're the only one that held the key. Now it's time to go, I'm running out of space to write. And yes I lost my fight, but please just hold on tight. I'm watching over you from the clouds above. And sending down the purest and whitest dove. To watch over you, and be my helpful eye._  
_So this is it world, goodbye._

His body moved on auto pilot. He picked up his boyfriend so he wasn’t hanging. He shouted for his friend.  
“Oh my God!”  
“Help me!”  
His friend stood on the chair they had to burn after, and got the rope off of his boyfriend's neck. His friend got on the phone with 911 as he tried giving him CPR.

“How long was he hanging before you found him?” The EMT asked him.  
“I don’t know.”

“We’re so sorry. We have to inform his family-”  
“You won’t be able to get in contact with them.”  
“Why is that?”  
“He hasn’t spoken to them in years. Kicked him out when they found out about me and him. His dad even told him he’d rather have a dead son than a gay one so they won’t care.”  
The nurse looked horrified at the words that came so easily. It was really fucked up, he knew that, but it didn’t make it untrue. His boyfriend was an only child, raised by christian parents. He could only imagine the loath and disappointment that came from them, because his parents were always so supportive.  
When the nurse walked away, he pulled out his phone and called his mom.  
“Honey it’s past midnight. Are you alright?”  
He let out a long due sob at the kindness in his mothers words.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“He’s gone mom. He- he hung himself.” He barely understood himself, so how his mother understood him he’ll never know.  
“Oh my God…”  
“I loved him and he’s gone mom. What am I supposed to do?”  
“Breathe-”  
“I can’t! My heart stopped when his did. I need him mom. I need him.”  
“I’m coming to get you.”  
“Why’d he leave me mom? Tell him to come back. I need him.”  
“I know, I know baby.”

“I’m looking for my son… his boyfriend just committed suicide.”  
He was holding his boyfriend's cold hand, tears long since stopped, he just stared at the face that was all too pale.  
“He’s gone mom.” He said distantly.  
“Oh honey.”  
“Tell him to come back. Tell him I need him to come back.” He felt numb.  
“I will honey. Let’s go home first.”  
He nodded, standing up. He gave his boyfriend one last look, kissed his forehead, muttering an “I love you” before dropping his hand for the last time.   
He leaned against his mom while they walked out. He was so tired.  
“I need him.”  
His mom was trying hard not to cry, but she broke at the crack and desperateness in her son's voice.  
“Can we go get some of his sweatshirts?”  
“Of course honey.”

That’s how he ended up in the room his boyfriend hung himself in, looking through the closet, at the many sweatshirts his boyfriend had. He picked up his boyfriend’s favorite. He brought it up to his nose, inhaling the smell that was perfectly his boyfriend. His cologne and his conditioner and his natural scent, all clouding his senses and for a minute he felt as though his boyfriend was here, right in front of him, hugging him, telling him it was all a bad dream. That he wasn’t gone.  
But this wasn’t a bad dream. This was real. And his boyfriend was gone.  
He grabbed a few of the hoodies, his boyfriend’s cologne, and his pillow and blankets.

He slept uneasy that night, in his boyfriends favorite hoodie he always teasingly scolded him for wearing, and surrounded by his blankets, laying on his pillow. It felt like he was sleeping with his boyfriend in the bed. Everything around him smelt like his boyfriend, reminding him that when the smell was gone, it was gonna be gone forever.  
Cologne could only last so long.  
But the night where his scent would be forever gone was not tonight.

It was gonna get better… how or when he didn’t know, but it was going to. He’ll move on. Visit the grave of his first forever, with his new forever. Wear his boyfriend's class ring on a chain around his neck. He’ll someday move on, but he’ll never forget.

Nick was his first love.  
And Karl will always remember that.  
Always and forever.  
Those were his last words.

**Author's Note:**

> karlnap is my favorite ship and its not the actual people im shipping its their mc personas even tho i use their real names... ignore that... so i must bring both happy and sad to them  
> thats all  
> -briar


End file.
